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How to Prevent Sibling Rivalry

Children from same parents can feel they are being treated partially to their disadvantage as compared to their sibling who is being given preferential treatment.
It is not healthy and the effects can linger on leading to bitterness and anger which may outlast the life of the parents.
There is a need for the parents to be watchful of their own behaviour across the board and address this issue comprehensively. Taking it lightly or ignoring it can be disastrous for the morale of the affected child.
The following aspects need to be kept in mind:-

Modeling Good Behavior

Modeling good behavior is crucial in teaching children how to treat others with kindness, respect, and empathy. As a parent, you are your child’s most significant role model. They observe and imitate your behavior, including how you interact with others.

– Be mindful of your behavior and reactions, especially in stressful situations.
– Demonstrate kindness, empathy, and respect towards others, including your children.
– Apologize and show remorse when you make mistakes, teaching your children accountability and humility.

By modeling good behavior, you’ll help your children develop essential social skills, empathy, and a strong moral compass.

Encouraging Teamwork

Encouraging teamwork is an excellent way to promote positive interactions between siblings. When children work together towards a common goal, they develop essential skills like communication, problem-solving, and cooperation.

– Engage your children in activities that promote teamwork, such as puzzles, games, or cooking.
– Encourage them to work together to achieve a common goal, like building a fort or creating a craft project.
– Praise and acknowledge their efforts and accomplishments, highlighting the importance of teamwork and collaboration.

By encouraging teamwork, you’ll help your children develop essential life skills, strengthen their bond, and build a stronger sense of family unity.

Praising Positive Behavior

Praising positive behavior is a powerful way to encourage kindness, empathy, and good behavior in children. When you acknowledge and appreciate their positive actions, you reinforce good behavior and motivate them to continue.

– Be specific with your praise, highlighting exactly what they did well.
– Focus on the behavior, not the child. Instead of saying “You’re such a good boy,” say “I really appreciate how you shared your toy with your sibling.”
– Be genuine and sincere with your praise. Children can tell when you’re being insincere.

By praising positive behavior, you’ll encourage your children to develop good habits, build their self-esteem, and strengthen your relationship with them.

Avoiding Comparisons

Comparing children can be damaging to their self-esteem, create unhealthy competition, and foster resentment towards each other. Avoid comparisons and focus on each child’s unique strengths, talents, and accomplishments.

– Refrain from comparing your children’s abilities, achievements, or behavior.
– Focus on each child’s individual strengths, talents, and interests.
– Celebrate each child’s unique accomplishments and milestones.

By avoiding comparisons, you’ll help your children develop a positive self-image, reduce competition and rivalry, and foster a more supportive and loving relationship between them.

Recognizing Unique Strengths

Recognizing each child’s unique strengths, talents, and interests is essential in fostering a positive self-image, promoting individuality, and reducing competition.

– Take an genuine interest in each child’s hobbies, passions, and interests.
– Acknowledge and appreciate each child’s unique strengths, talents, and accomplishments.
– Provide opportunities for each child to develop their skills and interests.

By recognizing unique strengths, you’ll help your children develop a positive self-image, build confidence, and foster a more supportive and loving relationship between them.

Providing Separate Spaces

Providing separate spaces for each child is essential in respecting their individuality, reducing conflict, and promoting a sense of ownership and responsibility.

– Ensure each child has their own space, such as a bedroom or play area.
– Respect each child’s boundaries and personal space.
– Encourage each child to take responsibility for their own space and belongings.

By providing separate spaces, you’ll help your children develop a sense of ownership and responsibility, reduce conflict, and foster a more respectful and considerate relationship between them.

Encouraging Communication

Encouraging open and honest communication between siblings is crucial in building a strong, supportive, and loving relationship.

– Model healthy communication skills, such as active listening and expressing emotions.
– Encourage your children to express their feelings, needs, and concerns.
– Teach your children how to resolve conflicts in a peaceful and respectful manner.

By encouraging communication, you’ll help your children develop essential social skills, build trust, and foster a more supportive and loving relationship.

Teaching Conflict Resolution Skills

Teaching conflict resolution skills is essential in helping siblings manage disputes, build empathy, and develop essential life skills.

– Model healthy conflict resolution skills, such as active listening and expressing emotions.
– Teach your children how to identify and express their feelings.
– Encourage your children to find peaceful solutions to conflicts.

By teaching conflict resolution skills, you’ll help your children develop essential life skills, build empathy, and foster a more supportive and loving relationship.

Establishing Clear Rules and Consequences

Establishing clear rules and consequences is crucial in teaching children responsibility, accountability, and respect for others.

– Set clear rules and consequences while explaining the reasoning behind them.
– Ensure both children understand the rules and consequences.
– Consistently enforce rules and consequences.
I happened to be the youngest of a large brood and learnt a lot from my elders. May be when the elder sibling is much older he can also be co-opted to share the parenting load and the responsibility will get them to bond together more and better!

Major General Balraj Mehta

For over 35 years I served in the esteemed Indian Army, starting with one star on the shoulder to two stars on the flag. Leading infantry forces and commanding thousands of soldiers honed my leadership skills and instilled in me a deep understanding of human nature. This experience allows me to connect with individuals on a profound level, offering practical solutions for navigating complex career and parenting challenges.

My passion extends beyond the uniform into advising clients for a happy family life, grooming teenagers & young adults and development assistance to professionals. I am a firm believer in the power of knowledge sharing and personal growth. As a paratrooper I embraced challenges head-on, defying limitations and soaring to new heights. Now, I translate that same spirit into my work as a Coach, Mentor, Writer Speaker and Influencer.

Since transitioning from the military, I have embarked on a captivating journey of engaging audiences with my insights on leadership, human relations, and the ever-evolving nature of parent child relationship. My goal is to contribute meaningfully to the discourse on empowering young adults and spreading awareness about need for compassionate parenting, offering valuable perspectives honed through first hand, personal and real-world experience.

I hold dear my commitment to knowledge sharing, teaching, guiding and mentoring the budding entrepreneurs, young professionals and parents of teenagers. By equipping future leaders with the tools they need to excel, I aim to empower them to navigate the complexities of the ever-changing world. It's incredibly rewarding to witness their growth and know that I am helping to shape the next generation of charismatic leaders.

In 1983 I embarked on a distinguished career in the Indian Army, having been commissioned as a Second Lieutenant. The unwavering loyalty and dedication I held for my Nation and my Service became the cornerstone of faith during my professional journey. Each year honed my character, sharpened my skills, and fortified my resolve in service of a greater mission which I took upon as my very own!

Olive Green blood runs in my veins!

My operational journey in infantry culminated in commanding an infantry brigade in a highly sensitive operational area. This exceptionally successful tenure earned me the coveted Sena Medal for distinguished service in 2013. Throughout my career, I endeavour to forge excellent civil-military relations and oversaw crucial operations, including the rebuilding of military establishments devastated by Cyclone Phailin in 2013.

After 35 years of dedicated service, my career peaked as the General Officer Commanding the Sub Area of Uttarakhand and later the 41 Sub Area. On 31 August 2018, I superannuated from the Indian army, receiving a dignified farewell by the then Chief of the Army Staff, General Bipin Rawat.
My experiences have equipped me to guide individuals through the journey called life, helping people overcome their uncertainties and embrace the possibilities that lie ahead.

My mission is to empower individuals to live a meaningful life and pursue fulfilling careers. I leverage my expertise in handling human resources, teaching, coaching and personal experiences in leading large organisations to provide guidance and support to parents to deal with their parenting woes, especially with respect to teenagers. I am dedicated to helping parents to overcome anxieties, discover their children’s passions and guide them to successful career choices. My goal is to see them gain clarity, build confidence, and find joy in their life and work.

I am committed to guiding entrepreneurs and young professionals to acquire necessary skills, develop their latent leadership qualities, get over anxiety for performance and forge a stronger personal and professional standing. I consider enhancing their efficiency by reorganisation, reorientation and reaffirmation as my specialty.

I envision a world where parents are empowered to let their children get aligned with their passions, values and talents and feel supported and encouraged to make wise career choices. I strive to be a catalyst for this change, providing the guidance and knowledge necessary for parents to build strong children, for teenagers to grow into strong, stable and compassionate adults and young professionals to achieve greater personal and professional fulfilment.

- Maj Gen Balraj Mehta