Personal Development Mentor, Parenting Coach, Career Counselor, Ethical Guide
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
- July15, 2024
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
I had once fractured my left forearm in 1988 and was made a Low Medical Category for two years. During this time our unit moved to a Soft Field Station. The unit location was spread over 5 separate pockets of defence land, mostly unfenced and open for petty thefts from civilians and frequent elephant menace. Therefore the vigil had to be of very alert and dominating type to avoid losses of limb, life and property.
As part of operational plans the Unit had to move to High Attitude Area leaving a small rear party behind for almost two months a year. During those times, I being an LMC was made officer Commanding, Rear – responsible for security and other administrative requirements of the Unit. Because the main Unit personnel had moved up and skeleton strength was left, due to high requirement of security of the 5 locations this small party was highly stretched.
One day when I was sitting in my office attending to routine work, I heard lot of shouting nearby. I came out to find that about 50 yards away one soldier was talking to an NCO in a very harsh tone and gesticulating wildly. I went towards the little group and enquired from him what was bothering him. He spoke very rudely to me also.
Now as the Rear OC, I could have started to shout at him and may be have him arrested for misbehaviour and indiscipline. But I could sense that he was agitated and frustrated over some serious personal issues. He was feeling very wronged for some reasons and I did not have a heart to be rough on him, being in uniform was not an issue here to my mind.
I just moved towards him, put my hand on his shoulder and led him away from the small crowd of office staff that had gathered there. I calmly asked him to tell me what happened that made him lose control. He opened up and said that there was some major issue with his family back home and he had applied for leave. But it got held up because of the move of the Unit Main Body to operational area. He had been requesting the JCOs/NCOs for urgent leave since last two weeks or so but no one was able to give him any positive response. Today he got a telegram from home that his wife or mother (I don’t remember exactly) had gotten admitted in a hospital with serious ailments and that after that news he could not help but burst out!
I heard him out, reassured him of immediate leave and told him to go to his barrack and pack. I got him advance of pay in cash from the Unit Treasury, ordered a vehicle to drop him to the railway station for the evening train and sent him on 30 days leave.
He served the unit for other 7 years till he went on voluntary retirement and not even a minor complaint was heard against him in those 7 years. Things could have really turned nasty for him and for the Unit if I had failed to have empathy and not have looked at the incident from his perspective!
Leadership extends far beyond mere directives; it delves into the intricate realm of emotions, requiring more than just strategic decisions. Emotional Intelligence (EQ) emerges as the pivotal ingredient setting exceptional leaders apart. Picture EQ as the superpower that facilitates seamless navigation through the complexities of human interaction.
Understanding EQ involves not only deciphering one’s own emotions but also discerning the emotional landscapes of others. It entails grasping the unspoken signals, effectively managing personal reactions, and utilizing this acumen to forge robust relationships and cultivate a thriving team atmosphere.
The significance of EQ in leadership stems from the profound complexity of human nature. Humans are not solely driven by logic or quantitative data; emotions, passions, and a sense of belonging profoundly influence motivation and performance. A leader endowed with high EQ comprehends this reality and capitalizes on it.
Commencing the journey toward becoming an emotionally intelligent leader necessitates cultivating self-awareness. This entails delving into one’s emotional repertoire, strengths, and weaknesses. Understanding how one responds under pressure or identifying emotional triggers empowers proactive management of emotions.
For instance, recognizing that tight deadlines induce anxiety allows for the development of coping mechanisms. Whether through deep breathing exercises or delegating tasks to alleviate pressure, self-awareness facilitates control over emotional responses, thereby preventing them from overshadowing judgment or impeding interactions.
Exceptional leaders possess a keen social awareness, adept at deciphering subtle cues and nonverbal communication within a given context. This proficiency enables them to gauge team members’ emotions, motivations, and potential concerns accurately. Imagine entering a meeting and noticing a colleague exhibiting signs of distress.
A leader attuned to social nuances would promptly acknowledge these signals and offer support, fostering an environment conducive to open communication and trust. Empathy lies at the heart of EQ, transcending mere recognition of emotions to embodying an understanding of others’ perspectives and challenges.
Embracing empathy facilitates comprehension of team members’ struggles, motivations, and core values. For instance, empathizing with a colleague facing personal challenges impacting work deadlines entails offering support and understanding, rather than reprimand.
Effective relationship management epitomizes the culmination of emotional intelligence in leadership. Beyond superficial friendliness, it entails nurturing trust, fostering open dialogue, and cultivating mutual respect. Leaders adept in EQ navigate conflicts, deliver constructive feedback, and celebrate achievements in a manner that nurtures team cohesion.
Leading by example is paramount; team members observe and emulate leaders’ emotional responses and behaviors. Thus, embodying EQ entails managing personal stress, displaying vulnerability when appropriate, and actively listening to team members’ concerns.
By fostering an emotionally intelligent work environment, leaders not only enhance team motivation and productivity but also cultivate a culture of inclusivity and mutual support. While developing EQ requires dedication and perseverance, its dividends in terms of team cohesion and performance are invaluable.
Major General Balraj Mehta
For over 35 years I served in the esteemed Indian Army, starting with one star on the shoulder to two stars on the flag. Leading infantry forces and commanding thousands of soldiers honed my leadership skills and instilled in me a deep understanding of human nature. This experience allows me to connect with individuals on a profound level, offering practical solutions for navigating complex career and parenting challenges.
My passion extends beyond the uniform into advising clients for a happy family life, grooming teenagers & young adults and development assistance to professionals. I am a firm believer in the power of knowledge sharing and personal growth. As a paratrooper I embraced challenges head-on, defying limitations and soaring to new heights. Now, I translate that same spirit into my work as a Coach, Mentor, Writer Speaker and Influencer.
Since transitioning from the military, I have embarked on a captivating journey of engaging audiences with my insights on leadership, human relations, and the ever-evolving nature of parent child relationship. My goal is to contribute meaningfully to the discourse on empowering young adults and spreading awareness about need for compassionate parenting, offering valuable perspectives honed through first hand, personal and real-world experience.
I hold dear my commitment to knowledge sharing, teaching, guiding and mentoring the budding entrepreneurs, young professionals and parents of teenagers. By equipping future leaders with the tools they need to excel, I aim to empower them to navigate the complexities of the ever-changing world. It's incredibly rewarding to witness their growth and know that I am helping to shape the next generation of charismatic leaders.
In 1983 I embarked on a distinguished career in the Indian Army, having been commissioned as a Second Lieutenant. The unwavering loyalty and dedication I held for my Nation and my Service became the cornerstone of faith during my professional journey. Each year honed my character, sharpened my skills, and fortified my resolve in service of a greater mission which I took upon as my very own!
Olive Green blood runs in my veins!
My operational journey in infantry culminated in commanding an infantry brigade in a highly sensitive operational area. This exceptionally successful tenure earned me the coveted Sena Medal for distinguished service in 2013. Throughout my career, I endeavour to forge excellent civil-military relations and oversaw crucial operations, including the rebuilding of military establishments devastated by Cyclone Phailin in 2013.
After 35 years of dedicated service, my career peaked as the General Officer Commanding the Sub Area of Uttarakhand and later the 41 Sub Area. On 31 August 2018, I superannuated from the Indian army, receiving a dignified farewell by the then Chief of the Army Staff, General Bipin Rawat.
My experiences have equipped me to guide individuals through the journey called life, helping people overcome their uncertainties and embrace the possibilities that lie ahead.
My mission is to empower individuals to live a meaningful life and pursue fulfilling careers. I leverage my expertise in handling human resources, teaching, coaching and personal experiences in leading large organisations to provide guidance and support to parents to deal with their parenting woes, especially with respect to teenagers. I am dedicated to helping parents to overcome anxieties, discover their children’s passions and guide them to successful career choices. My goal is to see them gain clarity, build confidence, and find joy in their life and work.
I am committed to guiding entrepreneurs and young professionals to acquire necessary skills, develop their latent leadership qualities, get over anxiety for performance and forge a stronger personal and professional standing. I consider enhancing their efficiency by reorganisation, reorientation and reaffirmation as my specialty.
I envision a world where parents are empowered to let their children get aligned with their passions, values and talents and feel supported and encouraged to make wise career choices. I strive to be a catalyst for this change, providing the guidance and knowledge necessary for parents to build strong children, for teenagers to grow into strong, stable and compassionate adults and young professionals to achieve greater personal and professional fulfilment.
- Maj Gen Balraj Mehta